Smasher Life
by Trevisker01
Summary: So, have you ever been tortured over and over every night, begging someone, anyone to write a Fanfiction about the Smashers living together on the island from Tomodachi Life? I know I have! So sit back, relax, and enjoy the (not full of itself) most amazing Fanfiction ever. Author is not responsible if your brain explodes from the pure comedic gold that is this Fic.
1. Crappy first chapter

**OK, so this is my first fic, and I've written a load of chapters already, the quality really does get better. I have written this so in a year or something, I can look at the first chapter, and the last, and see how much I have improved. So join me on this adventure to become a half decent writer.**

The smash mansion is a place of talents and wonderment; epics and legends, and it has the greatest collection of fighters you've ever seen! However, It also has eight killer psychopaths, mortal enemies sharing rooms, crazy couples, giant dragons, red eyed ninjas, a puffball with a PHD and a guy who's really feeling it

He's really feeling it.

But, anyway, an insightful look into these icons lives begins here;

Luigi had been pumping out his dub-step since 1 in the morning, and it wasn't exactly helping anyone sleep, but he had a polturgust set with motion sensors, so no one dared go near his room. Little mac had got up and went to the kitchen to grab some food and get away from the music. Down there was Kirby, as always, and pit eating some particularly healthy floor ice cream. However, what really caught his eye was his friend Shulk, who was eating a banana

"Sup" started little mac

"I'm really peeling it!" Replied Shulk with an annoying habit of his.

"Sure you are, but I'm guessing you're down here to get away from the music?"

"Yeah, does he do this all the time? I'm kind of new here."

"Same, I've not had my first official match yet either. And yeah, Luigi is like this loads.

"Damn." They sat there for a while not speaking, Shulk with his banana and little mac with his can of diet coke. They were both thinking deep thoughts about life, and how easy it would be to end Luigis.

"Seen link around lately? I need a rematch." Shulk asked

"I think the zelda part of this place is to the east. But if you want to practice we could go now, we're allowed." Stated mac

"At this time of night? Um, yeah. Cool." They stepped out of the door, Shulk quivering ever so slightly. "Bit cold, isn't it?" He asked, and mac grunted. Upon turning a corner, they saw the eight creepy villagers standing with there arms raised, surrounding a glowing red and slightly satanic looking circle

"On second thoughts, we could always just go back to bed?" Asked mac. Shulk agreed and they slowly turned around, before legging it back to the mansion, and there respective rooms.


	2. Chrom fit trainer

**alright then, chapter 2! I had a blast writing this, and it's already a step up from the first chapter. Please review!**

"Rise and shine! Can't have the rest of the mansion think the fire emblem reps are a bunch of slackers!" Shouted Chrom, pulling open the curtains and waking half the smashers in the building.

"They don't think; they know." Groaned marth from the other room who was quite obviously not happy with Chrom's new schedule

"Duuuude." Slurred Ike, throwing his arm across his face. "I had this freaking dream where there were like these kittens and- bro. Such a rad dream." His voice was coming from the same direction as marths.

"Father! I know the whole "early bird catches the worm thing," but you're taking this much too literally." Said lucina, while the two robins ( who will be called from here on out 'Robin' and 'Robyn' ) slept through it, due to them revising strategies the night before.

Due to the two Robins sleeping in Chrom clashed a symbol in there ears. "Where on earth did you get that!" Cried lucina, who was painfully close to the ringing. Chrom decided to leave that question unanswered. Strangely, later that week the symbols were found seemingly beaten in with a sword in a rubbish bin.

"Down tilt into K.O punch! Wave dashing! Aerial dodging! Turn and grab! Fox only no items final destination!" Cried the two robins in perfect unison, jolting upright

"Dude." Ike said, Marth gave a small nod. Marth seemed weirdly regal for this time in the morning, standing in the doorway. It was safe to say that Ike didn't.

"Sorry." The two echoed, before Robyn continued "I think I've stockpiled enough information to keep me safe in the upcoming battle."

"I'm just sorry I'm not there to help you out there on the battlefield." Sighed chrom, before giving a Robyn a fairly embarrassing kiss, to which both Robin and lucina recoiled from. "But there is one way I can help you guys out out there! Besides from cheering you on, of course." Chrom got an evil glint in his eye "20 LAPS OF THE FIELD! NOW! AND DON'T LET ME SEE YOU SLACKING OFF!" He cried.

"Seriously!" Exclaimed marth

"Dude!"

"I miss my chrom." Groaned Robin

"Father!" Said lucina indignantly, though she couldn't get angry at her dad, she was just glad she had one.

"WE DONT HAVE ALL DAY YOU KNOW!"


	3. 2muchspooks

**personally, I felt this one was a a little forced, but it's the longest one yet a and it really wanted to write link and zelda. Also, foreshadowing. Please review!**

Link was relaxing on the sofa, watching the latest episode of the Big Bang theory, in the communal living room, ness was playing baseball with one of the villagers, who didn't seem to be getting the concept of a baseball bat, and was instead using his axe. This lead to some rather... Interesting matches.

Little mac was practicing his punches with samus, who had to crouch down but the two were getting quite close besides from the incident in his reveal trailer. Shulk was messing around with a bit of tech with bowser jr, while sonic and... The fire emblem characters were jogging?

Soon zelda walked in, and sat down next to her unofficial boyfriend. They were dating, and it was obvious to the smashers, but to the outside world they would get so close but nothing would ever happen. The same seemed to be happening here, no matter how hard they tried, something didn't feel right without a sense of danger looming over their heads. In fact, several smashers had actually placed bets on when their 'first kiss' would happen. Interestingly, ganondorf had, too saying it had already happened, but nothing had been confirmed by the two.

Nothing interesting seemed to be happening for quite a while, they chatted for a while and just enjoyed each other's company. However, some smashers were having none of this.

"Music ready?" Asked the figure.

"Yes sir." Said toon link

"Good. Now all we need is to be rid of those two pests over on the table." Said the figure dauntingly. "This better work. There is a lot riding on this."

Toon link burst through the door, and ran towards Shulk and bowser jr. "Guys, master hand needs your help! Technical emergency." He gasped, as if he were out of breath.

"What's wrong!" Inquired Shulk, skeptically.

Toon link thought for a second. "He's having problems setting windows 64 up. He can't connect it to the corporal matrix of code and... Techno-ology." He said, pulling technical jargon out of his green pointed hat.

The hero of the Monado and the koopa kid looked at eachother, neither having any idea what he said. However they just agreed to show off to eachother

The koopa kid gasped, in an incredibly realistic way "No! Not the techno-ology! I understood every word of that and it is bad!" Nope. Not rehearsed at all

"I know! We should go!" Cried Shulk, before jumping into the back of the koopa cart and slowly, antagonizingly leaving the room.

"You have disposed of them then?" Asked the sillouhette.

"Yes, master." Replied the hero of winds, before looking behind him and saw the two escaping.

The black outline face palmed.

"Guess it's just you and me then." Sighed zelda. "Did you understand a word of what those three were talking about?" She asked

"Not a clue." Link said. Out of the T.V came a loud bazinga from the lead character. "You, me and Sheldon." Said link in the least romantic way possible, and they laughed. Suddenly, the whole situation became yet more unseemly gooey and romantic, and as they were just about to finally kiss...

The lights dimmed, and a large luminescent pink disco ball appeared, along with the song "puppy love."

"Toon link, I swear, if this was you-" began the adult hero, before they heard a door lock click, and a deep, menacing voice say

"Good. Very good."

And they were alone


	4. Yay, shipping!

**so, a bit more foreshadowing, experimenting with different characters, and shipping. This, is by far, the longest yet. A guest appearance by doc brown and more** evil** chrom! Anyway, posting this makes me want to write more, sooo. Oh, by the way, since I'm enjoying writing this so much, I'm doing a christmas special thing, which will be its own fic, and it's probably going to be longer than this, featuring a load of my favourite characters. I'm planning to post it on Christmas Eve.**

Shulk, marth Ike, and pit were all gathered around little mac, who was reciting one of his past matches. "I was so close to getting out, I swear, one more punch and I would've been a goner. But I got in there, prepared myself, and through a decisive star uppercut, knocking him straight out! Rumor has it he didn't walk for days after that." He said, as he had the groups full attention, and was met by a wave of "woah!"s and a "dude!"

However, their fun was cut short as macs instructor and ever-present friend shooed them all away. "Yo, I gotta talk with my son mac here, express orders from master hand. Now scram!" Pit ran, and the others just shrugged and walked off.

"What does he want me to do now. I swear, I'm like his errand boy." Mac whined, in the most masculine and boxer-y way possible.

"You're friends with santas little helper, right son?" Asked the doc

"You mean link? Sure, I guess."

"Cool. Y'see, he and his girl went missing a couple hours back, and he was hoping you and me could have a quick look- round to see what's up. He said I could ask you to help." Said the fat coach

"Cool, I can help you out, especially if it means helping out link, he seems like a guy you want as your mate." Agreed the green king of punches.

"Yeah, so thanks. I'm just gonna pop to the little trainers room for a sec. Be right back." He announced nervously. Mac knew what this meant, it was code for he was going it alone. He valued doc as a friend and mentor, heck, he wouldn't be standing here right now if it weren't for him. But if he couldn't sometimes be the biggest pain in the-

"Hey, mac." Interrupted a particular feminine voice. It was samus, one of the friends the boxer had acquired during his stay here so far.

"Hey! Oh, What are you doing down here. By here I mean the bottom floor, since you said..." He trailed off, nervous

"Oh, I was up on the roof and the air started getting thin, so I-" Unfortunately, she was cut short by an angry glare "fine, I was looking for you actually. See if you wanted to train some more." She inquired.

"I'd love too! Well, not love, I mean like and- but I'm looking for link at the moment. Orders from the hand." Stuttered out mac.

"Oh, I can help you, try and reach some higher up places." Sniggered the not so professional bounty hunter

"Thankyou!" He sighed. "Just, please, no more jokes about my height" he pleaded. She simply nodded, and started to crouch down. 'To get to eye level' before getting the message.

They continued to look for the two, but to no avail and decided to take a break in the living room to make a plan of action. Upon getting there, however, it was locked.

"The hell?" Asked little mac

"Here, let me try. You even try opening a door with full force." She said rolling her eyes.

"That's because it won't open!" He exclaimed, agitated that he wasn't able to open the door and how long it was taking them to find the two hylians.

"Hm. You're right." She muttered, calculating.

"Let me try this!" Said little mac, rubbing his hands together and beginning to charge a punch. Unfortunately, as soon as it was fully charged, samus had picked the lock. "What!" He asked, flustered and letting go of his charged up energy.

Samus just smirked at him, and opened the door to see quite a sight. Sitting there on the ground were link and zelda, just about to smooch faces, with corny love songs playing in the background and a bright pink disco ball. Needless to say, they found the whole situation rather funny, and the two bearers of the triforce couldn't make them calm down for a good five minutes.

After all that stress they went through to find them, and finding that, it was rather justified.

"I was so close!" Howled the figure. "This close!" He held out his hands.

"It's no big deal, so what if they don't smooch, no skin off our backs, right?" Asked the childish hero of new hyrule

"You know it's more than that." Said the mysterious person. "Get me sakurai. We have pressing matters to discuss."

"Alright, team. I think that's all for today." Announced Chrom.

"Who exactly died and put you in charge?" Panted marth, before being elbowed by Robyn.

"Dude!" Ike said sharply, as if to say something.

"Thankyou, father." Somehow keeping her composure after all of that. "I feel much better after all that, don't you agree?" The others did, with things like "yeah!" And "dude..." Robin and Marth, however, just looked at her, trying to figure her out.

"It would probably be best if you went to master hand about that thing." Said Lucina, insistently. She tilted her head forcefully, and even Marth and Robin echoed with a wave of "yeah, that thing."

Chrom stood for a second, before turning, running and shouting "got to go! Bye!"

"Seriously, what was all that actually about?" Asked Marth

"I've no idea. My chrom was no slacker, but he didn't get up this early." Replied the master technician, looking at the others for any advice on how to handle him."

"He'll never admit it, not in a million years, or even the time grima takes control of the world. Whichever comes first." Began Lucina "But he's kind of sad that I and Robyn got onto the roster, while he, the protagonist, is only a final smash. He could easily have hired a stunt double, like most people do, but he chose to stay here, in the mansion." She placed, delicately.

"No offense, but isn't that just the slightest bit selfish? I've heard all these wonderful "chrom" this and "chrom" that, and that was not the guy that made us run 20 laps of the field at 6 o'clock in the morning."

"You're right, the humiliation can sometimes be enough to turn them against their friends, when the glaringly obvious rep isn't picked. But this is Chrom we're speaking about here, and he thinks that he didn't get in the smashers because he wasn't strong enough. And he doesn't want any of us to have to leave." Explained Lucina, with a note of finality.

Later that morning, as soon as they could actually enter the living room, they took a well needed breather. Ike and Marth sat on sleeping bags, Chrom was gone off doing whatever he was doing, and the Robins were discussing strategies and a thing called 'taunts' Shulk was once again sitting at the table, he wad bored and kept on glancing at the telly, while mac and samus were both on the sofa, sitting up painfully straight to try and show the other how tall they could be. He didn't say anything, but the lack of activity would have bored mac to death if he weren't sitting next to someone.

This left lucina, who had just walked in, glancing over at Shulk in the corner, and sat down, spralled across the sofa, any air of regality dissapeared.

Shulk, as bored as he was, decided to inquire about how all that came about, her being tired and all.

"So why, exactly?" He asked.

She explained about how chrom had made her and the rest of the fire emblem characters run laps of the field, how annoying Ike could be and his disability to say anything but dude. She spoke about how sarcastic marth was, and how oblivious Robin could be. Before she knew it, she'd gone into her 'unroyal' and 'unprincess- like' rant.

"And then everybody was walking up to me, after Robyn got her whole unique move set and mechanic, while I was another marth clone- and, for gods sake, we don't pick our movesets! We get an invitation and master hand decides how we should play." Revealed lucina, before looking around to see Shulk, calm and listening, while the others just sat there, mouths open from the rant that had just taken place, from the war princess no less.

"Dude!" Exclaimed Ike from the other side of the room, he and Marth had thankfully missed the bit about how annoying they both were

"Woah." Gasped Little Mac and Samus, echoing eachother. Shulk just said something none of the others could quite hear, and lucina seemed to calm down a little.

"I'm sorry about that, and I know that that's the episode where Barney proposes to Quinn. I'm sorry for that rant, I suspect I may have been holding that in for a while. Now, if you'll please excuse me," she said walking away "I believe I have things to get to."

Just as she was about leave, a hand grabbed hers, and gently pulled hers back.

"Stay." He said, blushing. "Please don't go... I'll get bored." He said, blushing across his whole face

"Okay- if it means that much to you then I could."

"Yes. It does. Besides these guys aren't the best for a good conversation." Shulk explained, keeping his eyes dead on hers.

"They realise we're here, right?" Asked Little Mac

"What are they talking about! I'm great at talking! I could talk all day long. And I have." Said marth, to which samus nodded, remembering the full extent of his blabber mouth in melee.

By this time the two were looking into eachothers eyes, unblinking there on the sofa.

"This is awkward." Said Samus

"You can say that again." Groaned Mac. "Actually, please do talk, but loud enough so they'll hear it AND REALISE WE'RE HERE." He practically shouted, but to no avail. Due to this fact, he decided that it would be a good time to get out of there. Quickly.


	5. Dark pit, dark agents

**Okay, I didn't quite like this chapter, or the next one, so I decided to put them both into one.** **I experimented with the first chapter, tried some new characters, found out I suck at it, may try new characters later, but I may try other characters later. **

**The 2nd chapter I felt forced to just because I had to, and had no ideas. **

**Also, next chapter, will be the chapter when they actually begin to go to the island. It will be up tomorrow, but my usual chapters will be up once a week after I've got the Christmas special done. But I need to get them on the island before the special. But I'm not going to be rushing it because it's the holidays.**

** I wasn't planning on posting these, but I realised that this is a story to track my progress, so... Ramble over**

**please review**

Dark pit was the last to arrive at the mansion, though he wasn't sure why he'd bothered to turn up at all. It was annoying, but the fact was dark pit couldn't escape his doppelgänger, and it was this or making weekly trips between dimensions, so he stayed.

In fact, it was becoming increasingly obvious just how much he couldn't escape his twin when there was a knock on the door.

"What do you want." Stated dark pit, and from behind the door appeared the light angel of legends, and resident nuisance pit.

"Fancy seeing you here pittoo." Laughed pit

"I'll repeat: what do you want?"

"Palutena wants you and a couple others to help out. It's gonna be awesome."

"How so, you little-" began dark pit, before being interrupted by his light counterpart

"SSSHHH! KEEP THE RATINGS DOWN!" Cried pit.

"Alright, alright, sheesh. What does she want me for. Think you can anwer that?" He said, his voice dripping with sarcasm

"Sure!" He said, not picking up on the sarcasm "we're doing... Some training."

"What took you so long to answer?" He asked

"I just had some floor chicken a-and palutena just... And I..."

"It'd just be faster if I went with you, wouldn't it." Stated dark pit

"Absoloutely."

"You told me," started dark pit, who was sitting on a plastic chair in a circle. "That we would be doing training." He finished

"Training your mind" Palutena put in

"I was told I'd get some minions; join the club." Ganondorf said with a great deal of melancholy. His face was devoid of happiness. But he was like that most of the time.

As mentioned previously, dark pit was sitting in a circle. This circle was full of any and all villains who lived in the mansion, including, surprisingly, jigglypuff.

The people who had organised this were: Palutena, Peach, Rosalina, Zelda and Robyn. Palutena stepped forwards, and started her 'pep talk'

"Hello! My name is Palutena, and I organised this, along with the help of my friends here. And pit." There was a wave of grunts across the circle. "Now, we're here to help you, help yourslelf. This is your great awakening, we're going to show you what it's like not to be evil."

"I'm the king of evil." Interrupted ganondorf.

"Anyway." She said glaring at the bearer of power. "I believe you're all simply misguided. And who better to guide you than the goddess of light!

"Sorry, but dark is in my name, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to decline this strange self help club. Good luck helping the biggest bad guys ever walk old ladies across the street, I'm out." Sneered dark pit.

"Good luck with that." Said dark link. "Think we haven't tried leaving yet?"

Dark pit simply walked up to the door, not wanting to show weakness to the villains. As a result of this he found his backside go through a new experience- that of being burnt.

"You were saying?" Asked zelda, sternly.

"You know this was great idea, really. Any grandmas need help crossing the street?" Said dark pit "very good idea."

"In light of recent events, we would like you to go first, pittoo." Stated palutena

Dark pit started to backchat, but was stopped by zeldas flaming fist. "Hello. My name's dark pit, and I guess you could say this all started when I was brought into existence."

Samus was polishing her varia suit, while her surrogate pet, pikachu, had a nap on her bed. She'd just had a match against link and his bombs and arrows had meant that she had had to have minor repairs. She'd learnt to do it herself now, through sheer necessity.

She was finding it hard to concentrate due to Luigis rock music, omitting across the whole mansion. Suddenly, pikachu became alert, cheeks buzzing with electricity straight out of his nap. She looked around and saw her front door open, with a dog sitting outside, glaring at pikachu.

She was about to interrupt the fight, when her phone rang from her desk.

"Hello? Mac? What is it? No. Way! You're kidding me! My god." She finished, and put her phone down. "I have to leave, so squabble all you like, but in the corridor." She told the two smash pets, before grabbing her ever present plasma gun, and rushing out the door.

"Yep." Mac said, cheeks blushing something terrible.

"This may just be the best day of my life." Announced samus, holding back a laugh

"Please, just shut up and do it." Asked mac

"I'm not going to shut up and do anything. I'm the strongest female character in nintendo's history." She addressed Mac. He'd obviously hit a sore spot.

"That's all well and good." Began the green boxer "but this is really embarrassing."

Samus let out a small laugh before smirking at mac and reaching for the top cupboard.

"Yeah, yeah. I get it. I can't reach the top shelf in the kitchen. Moving along." He said, begrudgingly.

Little mac changed the topic, and began to microwave his food. (He wasn't much of a cook.)

The two began laughing at a joke samus had made, and Mac's comment, before two figures holding swords walked in, being silhouetted by the sun on their backs.

"These two were here at the time of the incident. They must be eliminated." Said a deep voice.

The two figures nodded, and raised their swords.

"Shulk, you can stop it now. We know it's you." Said the king of the punches.

"Oh, come on." He said, and walked out of the shadows with Lucina.

"Personally, I thought he was being quite the actor." Commented Lucina.

"What happened, then?" Asked Samus "why were the two of you acting like this?"

"You know how... Weird we were acting the other day?" Said Shulk

"How could I forget?" Laughed samus

"We would appreciate it if you kept quiet about that." Asked lucina

"And why should we?" Sniggered mac. They simply raised their swords. "Eep."

As the two sword weilders left to threat on other people, little mac smiled and looked at samus.

"I'll admit, this place is beginning to grow on me."


	6. Finally, plot!

**well, just as they were getting settled in, I decided to ruin it. Happiness? What is this? It also has some of my own fanon. So, yeah. Also, I threw them straight into the deep end, though I think it could have been longer. I don't know, I just need to flow into doing that.**

**Also, I've given myself a challenge. Every time you read a fic, or find one of your old ones updated, you have t review. Even if you aren't logged in. So, you could start with this? Not to blow my own trumpet **

**TOOT!**

**Please review.**

"Well this sucks."

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to agree with you." Replied lucina.

"I'm with her." Said Shulk, in a foul mood.

"Same." Agreed samus. You see, they'd got themselves into quite the peculiar conundrum. They were on a ship, in the middle of nowhere, which crazy hand had steered off any path they'd had in the first place. They'd lost all their belongings in a weird tornado toon link had made while trying to save them all and no one seemed to be in a good mood, surprisingly.

Did I mention they were tied up?

~ 15 minutes earlier ~ squiggly lines ~

"Well this sucks." Stated little mac.

"Understatement of the year." Answered samus. They'd left the mansion a couple hours ago, as master hand had a "surprise" for them. A wet, horrible, rainy surprise. All of the smashers seemed not to be enjoying themselves to their full extent. That was, apart from some of the kid smashers. Ness, bowser jr, and even Lucas, popo and nana. Even though they'd chosen not to take part in any battles in the foreseeable future, they still hung around, as the other smasher were there only friends, in many cases. In fact, this was true for almost any non-returning smasher. Especially those with quite dark games. Almost all.

Back to the kid smashers, they were certainly getting their sailor on. Though toon link seemed to be missing, they were making do. Lucas was swinging from the sails with rope snake, nana and popo were making everything Christmassy by shooting ice all across the boat. Finally, ness and bowser jr were putting their heads together to actually manage the boat, but they were failing quite badly.

Meanwhile, the rest of the smashers were locked below deck, pretty much scared out of their minds. Master hand was trying to make order but to no avail. Crazy was nowhere to be seen, but it wa presumed that he was somewhere with the kid smashers. This would explain why master hand was being blocked from the deck.

"What was that?" Asked Lucina

"What was what?" Replied Mac

"That... Noise." Said Lucina

"I'm pretty sure I didn't hear anything." Said samus, confused.

"Trust me, living in a land full of darkness from the fell dragon grima really forces you to improve

your hearing." Said lucina indignantly.

"I think we should trust her, I mean, what else are we going to do in this hell hole?" Shulk sighed, exasperated

"I guess. Where did you hear it's?" Questioned Samus

"Follow me." Stated lucina

~ 10 minutes later ~ squiggly lines ~

"Well this sucks."

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to agree with you." Replied lucina.

"I'm with her." Said Shulk, in a foul mood.

"Same." Agreed samus.

"In that case, I believe I could help you." Said a voice, coming from the shadows.

And the shadow revealed himself.


	7. Smash Island

**holy crap... This was long. I mean... Jeez. Anyway, this sets it all up for my "Christmas special" thing. Explaining that, I always write a christmas story on whatever I'm working on that year. **

**so yeah, there's more plot here, but after the christmas chapter it cover more of it. I'm not even sure why this has a plot, since my plan was with this to just sit down and write at least once a week. Plot will probably not be mentioned in the Christmas special, because it takes place about a week after this.**

**please review!**

"My boss would like to meet with you, if you will." Announced toon link, appearing from the shadows to annoy any readers who thought the plot was going to advance.

"And why would we want to meet your boss?" Inquired samus

"Do you want to be like that all day?" Asked toon link, sarcastically. Samus looked around the dimly lit room to check on her accomplices. They nodded at her, giving her the get go to agree. However, as she opened her mouth, she was interrupted by Shulk. "Take me to your leader!"

Everyone looked at him, even toon link, disdainfully. Shulk just grinned "I've always wanted to say that."

"Not the right time, Shulk." Whispered lucina.

"Well excuse me, sister." He whispered back.

Toon link looked at both of them. "Finished?" He asked them. I'll be back in a minute." He smiled, creepily "sit tight."

"Well then." Stated Shulk. "I think we're going about to die."

"I dunno," began Mac "Toon link is extremely attractive." He proclaimed, with a creepy smile

"Mac!" Gasped Shulk "how inappropriate!" He exclaimed, putting his hand to his mouth in mock surprise.

"What?" Mac replied "I don't see no ring on this finger."

"The sass levels... So high..." Moaned lucina, in fake exasperation. Samus looked at them all, angry, and surprised.

"Guys, shouldn't we be putting our heads together here instead of, hmm, I don't know, talking about little Macs' sass?" He looked at her, sad. "Which is very nice." She sighed. "Wait- what was that you said about rings, Mac?"

"Not being on my finger?" He said, questioningly

"Yes!" She almost shouted. "I got this baby after capturing a particularly bad criminal." She said, fiddling with a ring. Before anyone asked what on earth she was doing, a small turret like thing came out of it and shot a laser, cutting the rope binding her.

"That was amazing." Said lucina.

"As much as macs sass?" Samus smirked.

"Don't push your luck, samus." Said lucina condescendingly. Samus rolled her eyes and began to cut everyone loose.

"Everyone, calm down, nothing bad is going to happen. We're all perfectly safe. Now, if you could all please just line up in an orderly fashion, staying inside your respective franchises..." Master hand said, but to no avail. The smashers were all milling around and talking to eachother, confused and worried. Master hand watched Samus, Mac and Shulk follow Lucina down some steps.

"This is getting us nowhere!" Exclaimed master hand, worried for the smashers. He figured it wouldn't be long before some kind of riot broke out.

"EVERYONE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Screamed Chrom at the top of his voice. "WE ARE THE SMASHERS! ARE WE GOING TO LET A COUPLE KIDS AND SOME MENTALLY CHALLENGED DISEMBODIED HAND STOP US? NO!" The smashers were not all that enthusiastic, just looking at him weirded out. "I SAID!" He was getting angry "ARE WE GOING TO LET THEM STOP US!" He said, giving a deadly look.

The smashers cheered out, halfheartedly. Chrom took it, realising that that was all he was going to get.

"NOW, HAS ANYONE SEEN MY DAUGHTER?"

"I hate chrom." Announced link

"Only just?" Marths asked, annoyed.

"Is he always like that?" Asked zelda

"Dude." Ike said, giving her a really? Kind of look.

If you hadn't guessed; link, Marth, Ike, and Zelda had all been sent to "save" (chrom the overbearing parent)'s daughter, while he and master hand saved everyone else.

"I don't get what all this fuss is about. I mean, sure. If it were just Lucina, Mac, and Shulk, then I'd be worried. But Samus? She's a vet! One of the original twelve." Ranted marth "if anyone's gonna protect them from whatever evil monster Chrom's imagining it's her?" He said, taking a deep breath.

"To be honest, she's probably the best person they could have with them, varia suit or no." Link admitted.

"That's all very nice, but have you guys got any idea at all where we're going? We've literally been walking in circles for the last half hour." She said, rather fed up.

The guys looked at her, surprised. "You didn't notice? I kept trying to tell you but you seemed to all just be saying dude to eachother, what does that even mean!" She asked.

"Dude?" Asked Ike.

"How do I know you people?" Asked zelda. Marth hung his head in shame, there was a whispered dude, and link simply pouted.

"Zelda?" A voice asked, as they turned round a corner

"I'm telling you, bro. There's no way, if spongebob and Harry Potter were to meet, would harry win!" Exclaimed Mac, in a heated discussion with Shulk.

"This is stupid! Why are we even discussing this? Harry Potter has magic, how would he not win!" Protested Shulk.

"He's a talking sponge! How much more magic can you get!"

"Guys, we kind of have a job here, if you hadn't noticed? And anyway, if they were to meet, Mr crabs would just turn up and beat both of them," said lucina, causing groans from the boys. The argument continued to get louder and louder, even with Samus joining in with a cry of "squidward could easily take dumbledore!

Perhaps I should explain. The four had escaped from their little dungeon, and were now wandering the hallways, seemingly in circles, though none of them had a good enough eye to tell. After Samus had saved them all, they had proceeded to run as quick as their legs could carry them out the door, and down the corridor.

"Guys. Let's be honest here. It's Neville Longbottom." Said Shulk. They all murmured a few words, admitting that he was right.

Before they had a chance to start another argument, they heard something else coming. They took a few wary steps forward.

"Master hand. Thank goodness it's you." Sighed lucina

"Lucina..." Began Shulk, just before the hand let out a mad cackle. "I don't think that's master hand."

"RUN!" Cried little Mac.

They had only turned a few corners before they bumped into someone. Or, rather, a group. "Zelda?" Asked Samus.

"Samus! You're okay!" Shouted Link.

"Not the time for greetings right now, Link!" Said little Mac, running straight past him.

"Dude!" Cried Ike.

"What's going on?" Asked Marth, before noticing the giant insane hand. "Ah!" He said, nodding his head slowly before turning tail and running.

Shulk stopped for a second, before activating his speed Monado art, running down the corridor and back

"Guys! There's a door down there! I'm pretty sure that it's the one leading to master hand!" Shulk practically screamed

"Come on then!" Shouted Mac, dashing through the door and slamming it behind him and blocking it behind him.

"We kind of have to come in too!" Zelda cried

"Oh, yeah. Right." He said, embarrassed and opening the door.

After there, admittedly ridiculously large, party had all rushed though and blocked the door, they collapsed.

"Dude..."

After all this had gone down, master hand had quizzed crazy hand about what had happened. As it turned out, he had been bribed by one of the kid smashers with a signed copy of twilight. However, he refused to tell master hand who he was bribed by, even when offered a chance to meet Stephanie Meyers (the author of twilight. What can I say? The hand is crazy.) however, they were able to find out that it was one of the kid smashers, to no surprise.

While master hand had been doing this, chrom had been quizzing the eight smashers who had had a run in with crazy hand

"So you're saying toon link had something to do with all this? He was the one to lock us all below deck?"

"I believe that he had some part in it, but it was not his idea." Said lucina, addressing her father.

"How so?" Asked chrom

"If you'd allow me to say something, I believe Mac said toon link mentioned his "master"" Zelda said

"And we were locked in the living room, me and Zelda, by toon link once. He said nothing though." Link stated. It was just Link, Zelda and Lucina talking with Chrom as there worlds were in the same time period.

"Interesting." Chrom said, mulling it over. "Tell me more."

As link was about to tell him about the appropriately called "puppy love incident." When they heard a loud voice shouting "LAND HO!"


	8. Smasher Christmas

**Okay, so this is probably ok to read even if it's not christmas, whoever you are about to click off this. So, a preview of the smash island, set about a week after the last chapter. Next chapter will be more of the norm, and plot to do with THE SHADOW.**

**also changed the description, but I may change it again later since I'm still not happy with it. So props to the guest for telling me how much the last one sucked. **

**Okay, so I said the last chapter was long, but in truth I just took ages to write it cause I'm lazy. But this is like 8 pages long, so it's worth the delay. I hope.**

**also, shipping**

**please review**

CHRISTMAS EVE, 8 HOURS REMAINING.

"MY ANNACONDA DON'T. MY ANNACONDA DON'T. MY ANNACONDA DON'T WANT NONE UNLESS YOU GOT BUNS, HUN!" Sang marth, the hero king of legend, who made enemies fall to the ground in fear, and made his opponents tremble, his friends honoured his very being there. But over all that, he was the bleeder of ears, the artist of horrible music, the random title followed by random verb, and the singer of badness. And not bad as in badass but bad as in horrible.

"OH MY GOD. LOOK AT HER BUTT." He screamed at the top of his lungs incredibly off pitch. As if on que, lucina walked in. Marth quickly hid his hairbrush behind him.

"Can I hear.. Singing?" Asked lucina, dressed in a dark purple patterned christmas jumper.

"No, just the radio." Replied marth, dropping his hairbrush and surreptitiously kicking it under his bed. Lucina nodded and looked at him suspiciously. "Uh-huh. Anyway, chrom wants to- what the hell are you wearing!?" Cried lucina, shocked.

The outfit in question was a bright pink christmas jumper, with a picture of a sunglassed Santa entitled "swag." To top it all off he was wearing seemingly leather black trousers.

"Just a little... Something I put together." He said, flipping his hear in a way he, and only he, found attractive. "Like it?"

"Oh good naga we have to get you out of that." Exclaimed lucina, slamming a button which said

"fashion disaster" causing lights to flash and lights to flicker. In a matter of seconds, peach was

there.

"Who pressed the button?" Enquirer peach, before taking one look at marth and almost fainting. "Is this... Hell?" She asked. Lucina shook her head grimly. Peach looked peachy (sorry, I had to.) "I'll get make- up, you get something that can at least qualify as an outfit. Meet up in five?" Said peach. Lucina nodded and ran out of the door, followed by peach.

Marth stared out the door, dazed, wondering where on earth that button had appeared from.

Just earlier, the rest of the FE gang were preparing for their big carol singing event, which chrom had been planning since the beginning of the month.

"Listen up, everybody. This is what we have been waiting for. This... Is our destiny. In hundreds of years time bards will sing of this battle- uh, carol singing- and we will look back at this and laugh."

"Dude!" Ike interrupted

Chrom looked at him, testily. "Finished?" He asked. Ike nodded. "Good. Now, this may be dangerous. Heck, some of us may even die, but it will be worth it! For nothing is as bittersweet and tasty," he licked his lips "as victory."

"Well then." Said Robyn "that was... Intense."

"Why did you get your chrom for this gig?" Asked robin

"Because master hand has a tight budget and rock beats scissors." Answered Robyn. Robin groaned, and pulled a face.

"Whatever, I don't know why I decided to do this in the first place. I would rather be up in my room #420 360 MLG noscoping some little n00bs." Robyn nodded

"By that you mean you're going to study and abide by the rules of society like a good boy?" Questioned Robyn.

"Pretty much." He said leaning back.

"Onwards!" Cried chrom, who had somehow found a horse.

Samus wasn't exactly a christmas person

In fact, she was rather a grinch. And, unfortunately, her new best friend, little mac, was not so much of a grinch.

"Ssaaaamuuuss." Moaned mac, playing the song "fairytale of New York." Which, by the way, is at least the second best christmas song ever. "Get in the christmas spirit." Samus looked at him, annoyed.

To say that they contrasted was saying the least. Little mac was wearing his ever present green hoodie, but he had his face painted like Rudolph, with his nose being covered by a large piece of red plastic like the one one would need if they were to attend an event tied in with Red Nose Day. Under his hoodie was a dark blue t-shirt with contrasting green boxing gloves as an illustration. Comparing this to samus's preferred get up of pitch black jeans, jumper, and a surprisingly festive pair of Rudolph ears on her head (which ness had forced onto her) and you had quite the clash.

"Come o-on! Christmas music! At least sway!" He pleaded

"No. I will not nod my head, I will not tap my foot, I will not move even slightly to the beat." She announced, crossing her arms

"What even if..." He scrolled through his songs and put on something french. "Awww, oui oui oui, un dance," he proceded to say a ridiculously long, stereotypical word, which had at least 5 constants in a row at the same time. "Un Samus... Baguette."

"You have no idea how to speak French, do you?" She asked

"Not in a million years." He began. "But I do know one thing off by heart... That I would like to take this dance." He finished.

After a while of them dancing Mac became very awkward and asked "was that romantics? Because I was thinking romantic, but I think I accidentally spoke french."

"That wasn't romantic at all." She admitted. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I left my... Celery in the oven for too long." She said, dashing out the door. "Don't want another case of celery house fire, right after we move in... Right." She was scrambling for her coat "has that not happened...? No? Well it is on the news, and " she was ready to go.." "Cool yeah love you bye!" She rushed slamming the door.

"Dammit Samus? The hell was that! Romance? You were trained to be a bounty hunter, and kill giant space dragons! Not get wooed by some guy... Did I tell him , that I loved him?" She realised "so long, sanity. It's been nice knowing you."

"What the actual crap was that, mac? I thought we were going to take it slow, romance her off her feet! Not talk French and scare her away! Now you've done it... You've royally messed everything up. Wait... Did she just say she loved me?"

CHRISTMAS EVE. 7 HOURS REMAINING.

Shulk was not exactly the most socially adept person. As of that moment he was standing with a gang of people, singing carols, because some crazy bossy fire emblem guy was forcing his friends to do.

The only reason he himself was there was because bowser jr was spending his holidays with this dad, you can't go back and forth between worlds willy-nilly so going home was not an option. And lastly, he had almost walked in on Samus and Mac having a moment.

So there he was, listening to just about the most God awful singing ever. Chrom was at the head, singing completely off pitch, being supported by Ike, who would be quite a good singer if he could say anything other than dude.

Marth had a ridiculously high voice, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was that he was wearing make up. That was perfectly colour coded with his shoes. And bought out his eyes. And made him look very attractive- ok, ok. You get the picture. He was ridiculously bored and driven to thinking how handsome his (crush? Girlfriend? He honestly didn't know.)'s great great great great great great great great granddad. And was that a crop top he was wearing?

"Why are we doing this?" Shulk asked Lucina in a break between songs

"I'm doing it for my father." She replied "you just turned up."

"Do you think there's any chance I could just-" he was cut off by the song. He sighed, waiting to leave. He got through about a verse of it before he was fully ready to leave. He was just leaving when Samus walked up to him

She whispered into his ear "I'm here to save you."

"Oh thank god. I was waiting for an excuse to leave." He said, grabbing the Monado from a table near by

"You don't even know what I want help with!" She said

"Anything to get me away from here." Shulk began walking away, and shouted "see you guys after you're done with this!" He shook his fist "this princess is in another castle!" Needless to say, this got him a few strange look. However, he took it and ran.

"Sorry for my friend." She apooligised, embarrassed. "He's kind of... Well, Shulk." She admitted, before running after him.

"How's my favourite loud, gender confused, nerd of a friend?" Asked Samus

"Just fabulous. You?" He asked

"Not so much." She said, and it appeared as if she had a shadow crossing her face.

"How so?" He asked, now concerned.

"You know how I'm not the biggest fan of Christmas?" She asked

"Do now." He replied "why?"

"I don't know... Living on your own with only metroids to keep you sane, holidays seem kind of pointless." She said. "I was planning to just avoid everyone, like I do most Christmases, but..."

"But what?" Asked Shulk.

"Mac kind of loves Christmas, so now I have to give him something and he spoke french and we danced and- you get the idea." She blurted out.

"And you need my help why?" He asked.

"Unless you haven't noticed, I don't have that much experience."

"Ah. right. Let's do this!"

"There. That should just about do it!" Announced Zelda, triumphant upon putting the star in the tree.

"We don't have Christmas in Hyrule. We have the festival of time, 5 days after Christmas. And this santa? Sounds like a bit of a ripoff of the hero of time." Link moaned.

"I simply can not believe my boyfriend is such a grinch! Whatever should I do?" She said sarcastically.

Link chuckled "look, all I'm saying is that they completely ripped of our annual celebration!"

"In what way?" She asked.

"In every way!" He protested.

"Oh so next they'll be ripping off Easter, too." She replied.

"Oh, and don't get me started on Easter!" He said.

"Oh, shut up. You only like the attention the festival of time gets you! If you had your way it would be called the "annual Link is awesome day""

"First of all, how dare you. Second, that's everyday." He insisted.

"Don't worry, you know master hand has arranged for us to go back in time for it." She said, and Link simply grunted.

"Besides, I've got you an early Christmas present!" She teased.

"What now- oh!" He exclaimed, as Zelda forced her face into his.

Just as the two were actually going to use tongue, ganondorf walked in. Link could almost actually hear someone say damn

"Would you two get a room, please." Grumbled ganondorf. The two separated, embarrassed.

"Oh, and if it isn't Mr christmas himself!" Announced Zelda.

"What? How dare you accuse me of being... I almost can't even say it. Festively!" He spat out.

"Oh, and I suppose that isn't egg nog on your lips? What book is that behind you, "the night before Christmas?" Link said.

"Shut up!" Said ganondorf, defensively "and I only sung carols for like, 20 minutes." Zelda looked at him. "Fine, an hour." He concurred.

CHRISTMAS EVE. 4 HOURS REMAINING

"Alright! Here we are, in London! The heart of Britain! I love England." Shulk announced.

"Come on, let's get this over with." Samus said, looking incredibly out of place beside all the late night Christmas shoppers. The two had just arrived from smash island, through a portal.

"I'm surprised any of these shops are still open." Remarked Shulk. "Hey, look! There's one over there. Follow me!" Shulk ran over, excited and with a grumpy Samus behind him.

"I'm not sure I wanna do this. Especially not in public." Samus said, entering the shop. "Why are we here again?" She asked.

"Because you are lacking in Christmas spirit!" Said Shulk, looking around.

"Fine, let's just find Mac something and be done with it." Announced Samus.

The two went their separate ways, before, after five seconds, Samus called to him "I've not found anything for Mac yet, I did find this, which peach would love."

"That's nice, but just focus on finding Mac something first." He called back, before she responded with a cry.

"And Zelda would love this! Ooh, look at that, it has Ike written all over it. Well, it has dude, but that's beside the point."

The two carried on in that manner until midnight, when Samus had bought most of the smashers something, but Mac and a few others. At this point, Shulk had decided he had better things to do with his life than this, and went home.

CHRISTMAS DAY. 0 HOURS REMAING.

Due to Chroms' strict training regime, the fire emblem reps were often the first up. Because of this, they were first to collect their presents.

Marth was up and opening his presents first, as he was most familiar with the holiday. Some of the main presents he had was sword polish (very original), a baseball bat entitle "for Chrom" and blue hair dye, as somebody (coughnesscough.) had thought it would be funny.

Ike was right behind him, albeit with less energy. He had received sports shoes from a certain hedgehog, who thought he was "too slow", a half ton of chocolate, and, most importantly, coffee from Lucina to wake him up.

The others were slower opening their presents, as they were less accustomed to the holiday. The robins had gotten the game "brain training", research books, and the complete collections of David Bowie. What? That's what they enjoy doing in their spare time.

Someone had thought it was smart to give Chrom a megaphone, but anonymously so they weren't killed afterwards by a death Marth. He was also given a book from Ridley called "coping with not being in smash 4: an autobiography."

Finally, Lucina was also given a book named "the daughter of smoke and bone." Because apparently she was like the protagonist. This was from Samus. From Mac she was given a set of instructions on how to kill Captain Falcon, and finally a necklace from Shulk saying "meet me in the cafe. 10 o'clock."

After all opening their presents, they all sat down, with a huff. That was, all except Ike, who ran into the room screaming "SUGAR! MORE SUGAR!" And running out again. He seemed to have acquired a pair of running shoes.

"Who's idea was it to give Ike chocolate?" Asked Marth. Lucina raised her hand. "And coffee?" She raised her hands again. Marth performed a textbook face palm. "Whatever. I've got a present to deliver to link, bye." He said, walking out with not a sideways glance to Lucina.

Meanwhile, the Zelda reps were just getting up. Link heard a loud girlish squeal from the hallway.

"Oh goody, oh goody, oh goody , CHRISTMAS!" He left his bedroom, expecting to see Zelda. However, he was met with a much more male, gerudoish face. A male, gerudoish face that seemed to be skipping.n"Link is that- is that a camera you're holding? Link! I swear to god You're going to regret the day you were born!"

Link was laughing his head off seeing his mortal enemy singing and skipping. His laughter session was cut off, however, when he received a warlock puch to the face.

The two then walked over to their tree, in begrudgeing silence. Their they saw Zelda, opening a present of a fairy wand, as either a result of horrible miscommunication, or a practical joke. Piled around her was a t shirt saying "I am error." And dartboard with ganondorfs' face on it.

Ganondorf simply sulked and opened his presents in a corner.

After a few minutes, Marth arrived with a present for link, fully aware that he hated christmas. Link was annoyed, but was used to joke presents by now.

"Hey, Marth, check out this video..." Link said, pulling out a camera, within seconds the two were in stitches. When you've known the big bad king of evil for so long, you start to find things like that quite funny.

However, Marth lost attention from it suddenly, looking out the door. "Who's she?" Asked Marth

Link lent out the door. "Oh, that's Sheik. She keeps to herself a lot." He answered.

"Isn't sheik just zeldas down-B?"

"Oh, no. Not anymore, at least. There are no more transforming characters anymore. Didn't you hear?"

Marth wasn't paying attention "link? I think I just found my favourite Christmas present."

"Well, I think we got quite the haul, don't you?" Asked Mac.

"I can't agree with you more." Said Samus, leaning back on the sofa where she, Shulk and Little Mac were sitting.

"I still don't appreciate that future teller you made me, Mac."

"And I don't appreciate that you brought me "growth cream."" He replied.

"Why Thank you." He said, before giving Samus the eyes. "But I think you have one present left to open..."

"Do I?" He asked.

"I'm pretty sure he's opened all of them, Shulk."

"No, he hasn't" she insisted "look. There's- oh damn yeah." She blurted out.

"Mac, I don't see the point in Christmas. I gets it's just one of those things. But one thing I do believe in... Is you. And that's why, at 5 AM this morning, I was half the way across the globe, buying a gift for you. And, I guess, I can't say anymore through words, so I'll say it through actions. Here you go." She said, passing him a box.

"I don't know what to say... That was amazing." He said opening it, and looking inside.

"Oh." Said Mac, upon seeing it. "It's lovely!" He said, looking at the card entitled;

Happy birthday!

You're how old!?

And a monkey, as insult to injury.

"What's the matter?" She asked, looking at him.

"Nothing. You know what's? It's the thought that counts. And I think about you a lot, so Thank you. Really, Thank you. I honestly don't know what I would do, or be without you. So... Thank you.

"And so, on this Christmas morn, our adventure draws to a close. Our adventure of bossy princes, fabulous gerudos, and gender confused who can really feel it." Said a large fat man, standing atop a roof, over looking the smash island. A large fat man, dressed in red.

"And everyone is happy, with gifts a plenty, making many smashers wallets quite empty. Link is happy, and ready to go, and a dude is ready, and his gifts were really quite the low blow. And romance is everywhere, for Marth and our hero, though samus's gift got a rating of zero." He patted his stomach, and gave a whistle. He was about to commence in another set of rhymes which you, the poor reader, would have to endure, when a voice was heard from the house.

"Ganondorf, get down here! What are you doing up there?" Shouted Zelda

"And every year, Samus gives the worst presents."

"FOR GODESSES SAKES." She screamed.

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night."


	9. Smashbook

**Alright, this may have taken ages, but I'm still getting used to fanfiction, but I'll try and stay consistent. Also, I've had no internet. I know, it sucked. Imagine my surprise when I saw a trailer FOR A NEW FIRE EMBLEM TRAAAAAAAAIIILLER.**

**But yeah, this covered plot, but not in the way I thought it would. I also made up this thing with Luigi off the top of my head.**

**And, I've made a new thing up at the end. It was fun to do, so it's probably staying as long as it doesn't get any hate.**

* * *

"Here we are then." Stated Little Mac, dropping his bags as he and Samus got off the ship.

"I guess we are." She agreed, doing the same and crossing her arms.

"It's not too bad." He said, with a hint of optimism. "I mean, for a

desert island."

"There was no reason for us to move in the first place." She picked her bags up and began to walk away. "Our last place was brilliant." She stormed off, leaving an annoyed Little Mac.

"Is Samus ok?" Asked Shulk, walking up behind him, followed by Lucina.

"Not sure. She seemed angry." Said Mac.

"Probably just the trip." She said "naga knows we've not had the best trip. She's probably just annoyed about Toon Link and how she couldn't do anything. Best leave her alone for awhile." She said, walking past them.

"I guess this is happening then." Shulk said looking up at the building. "Let's see what the future holds, shall we?" He asked, before running after Lucina.

"I guess it is, Shulk. I guess it is." He let what was happening sink in for a second, before finally following the others inside.

* * *

"I could get used to this." Announced Shulk. He had a very large room, due to all the gadgetry he would be keeping in it.

He'd always been a little obsessed with science, computers, and the like, but it hadn't been until smash that he'd become, well, messy. He had a reputation to keep up, after all!

"Can I come in?" Asked a voice with a clear ylissean accent. Said princess peeked her head through the door. "This looks nice. Where did you get all the stuff?" She asked, walking in after Shulk nodded.

"They've got some fascinating shops here, all of them are kept by robots, which attitude." He stated, thinking back and shifting his weight onto another foot.

"How can a robot have an attitude?" she asked, mirroring his movements.

"No idea. I'm thinking someone went and meddled with them. It's a bit weird though, I mean who would install a sass drive into a robot." He said, questioningly.

"A: You do realise I have literally no idea what you are talking about. B: is it is as sassy as Littlle Mac."

"Oh. Yeah, right. Sorry. And no, I don't think that that's even possible. To quote "don't push your luck."" He said, quoting the person right in front of him.

"Also, check this out!" Shulk said, pointing over to his wall where a zenoblade poster was hung above his cluttered desk. "It's a poster! Of my game! Like, the one I'm from! I got it off this site called eBay, I just, um, borrowed master hands credit card and bought this! It's awesome!" He said going off on a rant.

"Not to interrupt, but what on earth is that?" She asked pointing to the bed.

"Oh, yeah. Another gift from the great site of eBay. Come to think of it, I'm going to have to teach you what a website is, but still." He said, before picking up a remote. "It's for a hospital, I think I could use it better. Watch!"

After Shulks' raving, Lucina was expecting something grand. In fact, she was letting her imagination run wild. Bearing in mind the only technology she was properly acquainted with was the TV, which she still insisted had actual little people in it, stuck behind glass.

So, as she waited in bated breath, to watch the pinnacle of modern technology, she heard Shulk say "done!"

"What was that?" She asked, looking at the bed.

"That;" he said "is the future!"

"I didn't see anything."

"Well, to the untrained eye, maybe not, but the bed just tipped slightly to the left." Shulk said, proud.

"Wow." She said, doubtful. "Well, the future is what I was expecting! Pure brilliance." She said, surprisingly sarcastic for a princess from the literal dark ages.

* * *

"Well, this place is... Interesting." Said dark pit, with a sneer.

"Oh, come on! It's brilliant! They have a coffee shop, you used a cup once! They have a concert hall: you were once near a radio! The similarities are endless!" Said pit, with the endless optimism that was iconic of him.

"I have a fist; you have a face. They should get together sometime!" He said, mocking his tone of voice.

The two angels, as stuck together as they were, weren't the biggest friends. None the less, they couldn't stay apart for too long.

"Clothes shop?" Asked pit, looking hopeful.

"No way in hades. Any other bright ideas?" He asked annoyed, quickening his pace, causing pit to have to jog to keep up.

"How about the fountain?" He asked, running out of ideas. The two angels had flown around the island prior that day and had a pretty good idea of where everything is.

"No. First off I have to share a room with you, now we're going out for heartfelt walks by the fountain? I repeat: No." He said, clenching his fist.

"Wait; I have an idea! Follow me." Said pit, running off. Pittoo just shrugged and followed him.

* * *

Mac sat on his own at the bar, which had somehow been given a moody air to suit the purposes of this scene.

"That's quite a few beers you've had, do you think you should slow down?" Asked the green mario brother, sidling over to Mac.

"Uummm, yeah. Since, you know, man like me? Love me some good old alcohol. Love it." He said, a little nervous.

"Riighhht." He said, nodding. "Besides, you're the only one other than me who's already at the bar on the first day. What's up with that?" Asked Luigi who, for some reason, had initiated contact with another human being.

"Can I ask you a question?" Asked Mac.

"You already have." He said, amused.

"You know what the smash I mean!" Said Mac, a little annoyed.

"Yeah, sure. Go on."

"You know Samus?" Luigi nodded. "Well, she's acting weird. When I first got here, she was so open, but now we're here, she's kind of... Caged up. Everyone keeps telling me to keep my distance, but I don't think I could do that. Thoughts?"

Luigi pondered for a second, taking a sip from his drink. "Know a guy named Snake?" He asked, placing his drink on the bar.

"Solid Snake? What about him?" Mac said, wondering what he had to do with her.

"Well, him and Samus had a thing. Well, nearly a thing, at least." He said, silencing Mac. "In these first two "tournaments" if you will, she would hardly speak, however, it all changed in the brawl, our third "tournament."

Luigi thought for a second before finishing his drink. He handed it back to the robot bartender, and received another. He handed over some money and continued. "She and snake were perfectly matched. They were both smart, equal in courage and in stealth. And, in combat, they stood toe to toe. They were every smashers "OTP" but then it all changed."

"When the fire nation attacked?" Mac said with a grin on his face. "Sorry. Serious story, carry on."

"Then the great brawl happened."

"The great brawl?" Mac said, butting in once more.

"Could you stop interrupting me? I'm trying to be dramatic here!"

"Ok."

"Thankyou."

"You're welcome."

"Don't mention it."

"I won't."

"Good."

"Fine."

"Okay, so the great brawl-" began Luigi, before once more bring cut off.

"Another drink please?" Mac requested to the bartender.

"So the great brawl was this-"

"Slurp." Went Little Mac.

"The great brawl was-" he began again, annoyed.

"Sluurp."

"The great-"

"Sluuuuuuuuuurp."

"The-"

...

...

...

...

"Slurp"

"I hate you." Announced Luigi.

"You hate everyone, your point?"

"Shut up. So anyway, the great brawl was this big-"

"Can I go to the toilet?" Asked Little Mac

"No." He gritted his teeth.

"But I really need to go!"

"Then you should have gone before."

"But I didn't need it then!"

"I don't care!"

"Please?" Asked little Mac. The plumber ignored him.

"The great brawl was this huge adventure all the smashers went on. At first, we found it fun, thinking it was a training exercise from Master Hand." He said, as the mood darkened.

"And then?" Asked Mac.

"The deaths started rolling in. First was Roy, which we don't speak of much. At that point, we were worried, but some of the more child like smashers thought it was a cruel joke. It wasn't. Next, pit came close to dying, losing his ability to fly in the process. As we neared the end, deaths became more frequent. Toon and young link paired up, but young link died ang left toon his legacy. At the end, we faced off against this entity. His name was Tabu, in all senses of the word. None of us knew his actual name. It was a big fight, but in the end, when the smoke cleared, none of us were sure if it was worth it. When it cleared, we found snakes body." He paused, as this paragraph was getting too long.

"No one told Samus. We made sure she didn't see it, getting out of there before she could notice. Someone so determined, strong, and, well, short tempered as Samus? Not a good idea. We told her he'd had to leave on a mission, that he may not come back. A few months later, we got the "news" that he couldn't rejoin the smashers."

"My point, Mac, is that, A: I love rambling. B: Samus had found a place she was comfortable, with the memory of Snake surrounding her, she finally found happiness. But now we've moved again, she's retreating from the world, this time she may not be coming back."

"What can we do, then?" Mac said, full of suspense.

"We need another snake. We need you."

* * *

**Lucina: Does anyone know to post statuses on this thing?**

**Posted at 9:10, smash island.**

**Lucina: wait, never mind.**

**Shulk: getting used to the software then Lucina?**

**Lucina: well, these clothes aren't that soft, but I guess so.**

**Marth: {sigh}**

**Shulk: do you like this website?**

**Lucina: I never mentioned spiders?**

**Samus: software isn't even the correct term, Shulk.**

**Shulk: you know what I mean.**

**Little Mac: you guys have this too?**

**Samus: I guess, I mean I don't have to move to use it, so...**

**Little Mac: anyone else have it?**

**Literally everyone: yeah.**

**Little Mac: damn. I've had this for years now, how have I not noticed this?**

**Doc brown: don't ask me.**

**Luigi: I don't see the hype. Gamelr is way better.**

**Link: what the hell is that**

**Toad: our version of Tumblr.**

**Mario: you have this too?**

**Shulk: according to Smashbook, "literally everyone" has this.**

**Little Mac: I liked Smashbook before it was popular**

**Marth: please don't**

**Lucina: how on earth did this get so popular?**


	10. Competititive

**Please don't kill me.**

**Short chapter here, not a main chapter which deals with plot and feelings or whatever, just a pure one shot**

* * *

"Link, this is a bad idea." Said Zelda, without a doubt.

"How bad can it be? It doesn't look too strange." Link said, looking over at her and laughing about it a little. "You've seen all that Saturday morning crap. Making friends is fun!" He employed heavy sarcasm on the last sentence.

"Remember when we we tried to enter brawlvault? And how did that end?" Asked Zelda as Link felt shivers run down his back.

"Remember that one time we decided to never to talk about that ever? This is ever." Link said, annoyed. "Beside, nothing like that could ever happen. Nothing." Zelda shook her head, but followed Link anyway.

Perhaps I should explain where they were. They were outside a carefully kept smash mansion, much unlike the one that they had known. There was a ruckus going on inside, but not quite akin to the sounds they so often heard. What they normally heard was screams, laughing, threats, and groans. All that could be heard in there was hitting, taunts, and moves.

"I'm so smart." Announced Link. Zelda face palmed.

"Hello! We are ambassadors from brawl!" Link shouted, running through the doorframe. As soon as he entered, he was met with an almost exact carbon copy of himself. However, his posture seemed more rigid, and his hair seemed darker.

"Hello?" Asked Zelda, wandering in, and pushing past link. "Can you talk...? No?" She asked, before gathering herself. "I would like for you to take me to whoever talks for you."

The man simply nodded, and walked off down the corridor. "I guess we follow him?" Zelda asked. Link turned to look at her. "Thankyou, triforce of wisdom, for those amazing words. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm being taken to their leader."

* * *

"I have a bad feeling about this..." Link trailed off, looking around the large courtyard.

"Now who's stating the obvious?" She asked, but heavily agreed with him. They had tried to reach out to many of their friends, but they seemed much different from the counterparts they knew. They tried talking to Toon Link, but he had carried on beating up a sand bag. This seemed to be the only thing these people could do.

Some, did in fact answer them. However they only responded in general NPC lines or grunts. Meta knight had responded to "I SWEAR TO FREAKIN' JESUS IF I DON'T GET A STRAIGHT ANSWER FROM SOMEONE THIS BOMB IS GOING STRAIGHT UP-"

"I aim only to master the sword." Link tried to impale himself with his sword, but could not pass the magical boundaries of an e rated game.

"Come." Beckoned the other Link.

"Ambassador from brawl, remember? Try not to absolutely lose it, let's keep it professional." Said Zelda, as she saw him preparing to snipe his "clone""

"Let's get this over with." She sighed.

* * *

"How nice it is to see you once again, friends." Said Mewtwo. Link and Zelda gulped, and looked around the dark, windowless room that his clone had shown them to.

"Quite." Replied Zelda, nervously.

"Yes. When did we last meet? Oh, that's right. Was it that time when you and the rest of the brawl crew threw me and Roy out for being too competitive? Why, I remember you pointing your bow at me, pal."

"Look I can explain-" Link protested.

"No need. In fact, you helped me. Free from your slow tournament, I was able to set up shop all on my own. I like to call it project Mewtwo. Or, project M." He chuckled a little, rocking in his chair.

"Well, that's very nice, but I think we'll be going now." Link said, backing away.

"No. I don't think you will." Mewtwo cast his arm across the room, making a clicking sound emanate from the door. "But you two are in luck. I'm in a good mood today. I'll let you fight for your freedom. And, because I'm nice, it can be two on one. What would brawl do without their precious Zelda reps, eh?" He asked. "And against someone of your own likeness, Link. Your host when you first entered here.

"But-" they began to protest, before Mewtwo teleported them onto melees version of the final destination stage. The two looked at their opponent, and tried to make a run for it.

There screams were so loud a man named Harry Styles heard it and made it into something no sane person would call a song.

* * *

"What did you say happened to the last Link and Zelda?" Asked the Twilight Princess version of Link.

"Nothing. Nothing at all." Answered master hand, his fingers crossed behind his back. And shut up, he is a hand and has no back, but shut up. I'm so smart, to quote Link.


	11. Mario, the psycho

**So, since I'm bad at uploading, I'm doing one a day, starting from the start of the smash 4 roster to the end, focusing on said character on their respective day**

"It's a me-a mario I'm more Italian than pastrami! I'll take-" Mario turned down his music, narrowing his eyes. He did the curtains up, and looked out from his view atop the island. He was nintendo's mascot, so he had some leeway. With it he was able to get this amazing, luxury, brand new, beaten down shack.

He was quite different to what the company wanted him to be like. Now he feared the end. He used to be so happy, until that day. Everything changed back when the Wii U was brought out. At first it seemed to go well, but then came the attacks. All the nintendo characters got them, but it affected him the most.

"It's mid gen!"

"No good games!"

"It's just for kids!"

Mario didn't sleep much any more. He swapped out his fire flower for giant-ass guns, and the iconic "super jump punch." for plain old "punch."

"I knew it! They're just making us leave cus Sony's taken over! I knew it! Obamas a lizard man! Anime is the true version of history! The Mario Bros film was amazing!" He rambled, before hearing a knock on his door. He readied his sawn off shotgun.

The door opened. "So, apparently I could find-OH MY GOD I'M SORRY GOD, I MEANT TO GIVE THEM ICE CREAM! ICE CREEEAM!" Shulk screamed, before Mario lowered his gun. "I'm just going to slowly back out." He held his arms out, and ran backwards.

"No!" Mario demanded, beckoning Shulk to come back in. He did so warily. "Unless you're a spy, it's fine if you come in." Shulk nodded. "So what did you want to ask me, boy?" Asked the red plumber.

"Well, you see-"

"You know, you remind me of myself when I was young. Good times. Back when everything was new and exciting. Want me to tell you a story, son?" Shulk furiously shook his head. "Great! Back when Kennedy was in power- if that was his real name- we were raging the war on Ancient Greece, and I learnt to use a gun."

* * *

"...paint me like one of your french girls, mario!..."

* * *

"Then, the T-Rex shot lasers from his eyes, nearly killing me and cleopatra, as we ran into my old friend, Jesus Christ...

* * *

"And that is how me and Jack Black saved the world from zombies and Obamas army of mutant, Muscled, T-Rex, Waterbending lizard men." Shulk snored. "He-HEM!" Shulk jerked awake. "I said, that is how me and Jack Black saved the world from zombies and Obamas army of mutant, Muscled, T-Rex, Waterbending lizard men."

"Okay, great. But how does this help answer my question?"

"What question?"

"Oh my god." Shulk groaned. "I'm leaving, I don't care if you shoot me. Goodbye!"

Mario cried out "No! Won't you listen to another story! How else will you beat Obama?" Shulk sighed and left."

* * *

"Hey, Luigi, do you have any orange juice? I'm really thirsty, I just got away from your brother."

Shulk asked Luigi, tired and dehydrated."

"Sure! Where did I leave it's? Oh, yeah, you see, I went out for milk, when I bumped into these mutant, Muscled, T-Rex, Firebending, lizard men. Not some dumb, waterbending lizard men. That would be ridiculous." Shulk began to leave. "Wait! How will you ever save us all from OOOBAaamaa!..." Shulk slammed the door.

"Oh, Jeez." Shulk said, leaving the apartment complex. He closed his eyes, but when he looked up, he saw an army of mutant, Muscled, T-Rex, water/ Firebending lizard men.

It was just one of those days.

* * *

**Obama: LOL! YOLO! BRB! SAP! FAB! DND! OMG! WOW! AND! BTW! (Y'all gon die. Totes justsent my lizard army on you.**

**Posted at midnight.**

**Mario: I told you! I told all of you! Bow down to me!**

**Obama: HAHA!**

**Mario: HAHA!**

**Obama: HAHA!**

**Mario: HAHA!**

**Shulk: One of those days**


	12. Luigi's Ballad

**Day two of this weird write a story a day thing. Did I even bother putting on an authors note last night? I dunno. I had tons of homework and it was late. Wait. Homework. Okay, um, no, I'm not reveali****ng the "secret" yet, and I hope the ending is sad enough for you all who came for happy fun times! Yay! If it touches you at all, please leave a review, I've got like, four reviews so far, so thanks for that I guess? Wow, long sentence**.

* * *

Luigi was, to say the least, a little tired. Third time this week! Seriously, first Micheal Jackson and his army of disco rabies raccoons, then King Arthur and his zombie warriors (which shot lasers out of their eyes.) and now Obama. Goddamnit.

* * *

He sighed, exhausted. He logged out of Smashlr, and, because he had no life, logged into Smashbook. He scrolled through his feed, Bowser had kidnapped peach once again, Little Mac was pregnant, and Mario had laughed for about 50 more comments.

Mario was weird. So weird, Luigi thought, as he put down his Barbie laptop and lay down on his sparkly pink bed. So weird. He was leaving his room and bumped into Samus.

"Hey Luigi, is it okay with you if I come in?" She asked, but the question was obviously ignored as she began to come in.

"Wait! I just have to tidy up a bit." He proclaimed, and promptly slammed the door in her face. He flipped over his covers, revealing a dark black underside, hid his laptop, and closed his multiple covers of dolls.

"Sorry." He said, opening the door once again. "I was just contemplating the cruel inevitability of death. What did you want?"

"Exactly that, actually. I've been, to be completely honest, cripplingly horribly, morosely, tear jerkingly sad lately."

"Well, when you put it like that, it doesn't seem so bad. Come in." He beckoned, his little comment bringing the faintest of smiles to her lips. "So, what's got you down." He said, in his best old dad kind of voice.

"I'd rather not divulge in that, plus I think you may already know why."

"So what did you want to ask?" He asked.

"You seem to be the only person here that isn't ridiculously happy 100% of the time. I just kind of want to speak to someone like minded for once. Mac sand all that, are great, don't get me wrong, but I don't want to talk to them right now."

"So what? Want me to sign you up for Smashlr? I'm sure you'll be able to find... One or two good people on there."

"No, I think I'll be alright, thanks."

"So what? Not to be rude or anything." He questioned.

"Just wanted to know if you have any, you know, like coping techniques?" She pondered, the idea just occurring to her.

"Well, um, some people like to surround themselves with happy things like dolls." She looked at him questioningly. "Not that I've done anything like that before." He covered up.

"Anything else?" She insisted.

"Not off the top of my head, but I'll message you a couple of links to useful websites. I mean, if that helps?"

"Yeah, that'd be great... Thanks." She concluded.

"Anything else?"

"One more thing, actually." She started to say something else, but trailed off.

"What? You can tell me. You were in 64 as well, not one of us doesn't know the other like the backs of our hands."

"Nothing, just this random math question I just figured it out."

"Cool." Luigi stated, unable to think of anything.

"Right. Anyway, was there some kind of fight going on outside before? I swear I heard, maybe lizards?"

"Funny story, actually, you see..."

* * *

"Thanks for letting me hang out with you for a while. It really helped."

"You're welcome. And, please you'd love Smashlr, you'd definitely get along with them. And, thanks for telling me that little secret."

"It means a lot to me, and I haven't even told Mac and that about it yet, so, yeah." Samus finished, and Luigi closed the door

"Some people are just... So devoid of sadness." She said to no one in particular.

* * *

Mario lay awake, plagued more than anyone with the hateful thoughts of Sony and Microsoft fanboys.

He looked at his clock 12:05

He stood up, and grabbed a gun. He walked over to the window and looked over the island, reassuring himself that he would do anything to save these people.

A random item dropped to the floor, causing a loud bang.

Anything.

* * *

Little Mac ran the length of the island, tears flowing from his eyes.

"You can't outrun the truth." He heard in his ears, and spead up, his memories flashing back to the man who had told him this.

He missed his parents so much, he barely knew them.

* * *

In the training room, lucina flung her sword wildly at the training bag, choking back tears.

She thought back to the horrible alternate reality, watching her best friends lives being ripped apart by death and suffering, even after being brought up in the castle.

She thought back to that horrible moment, when she was so close to death, and the pure relief she felt when she was zapped back to the past. And the grief when she realised she'd left everything but her sword and closest friends behind, never to return to.

Out of the shadows surrounding her, a hand touched on her shoulder.

Shulk stood strong for his friends and lucina, but was eternally tortured by the timelines that could be, watching everyone he knew dying, dying, always.

* * *

_You're wrong._

Samus heard.

_You're one of... Them? That's so weird._

_You shouldn't even be allowed into society._

Then she thought back to when she'd admitted it Luigi, and how he'd accepted her. And... And Snake.

_You're wrong_. This time, this was her saying it to the others.

To the people that hated her.

She was amazing

:

**Samus: Some people may not even know the meaning of the word sadness.**

At 12:05, in the Smash Mansion

**Little Mac: It's a blessing and a curse. Actually more of a blessing. I'm just glad I myself have nothing to be sad about.**

**Shulk: Yeah, right, ****Lucina****?**

**Lucina: Exactly.**


	13. Beseeched by Peach

**Keeping up with it so far, only what? Like 45 more characters to go. Damn. Also, it might be kind of obvious, but can any of you figure out that last quote? If so, please leave a review!**

It was daytime, and Little Mac was out for a run. He usually did this to get his mind off of things, and a battle with lizard men made him so totally done. He was just breaking into a stride, when he heard a sound from behind

"Wait!" Yelled what seemed to be a certain princess. Luckily, this Peach was not in distress.

"Hey!" Yelled back Mac, with a rhyme.

"I've been looking for you for quite some time." She said, gesturing, like a mime.

"How are you?" She asked.

"I'm okay." Though quite tired, spoke well as he masked.

"I'm just out for a jog." Peach said, catching up.

"Me too! It's really a step up."

"I know, but I'm like the fastest in Smash."

"Come on, princess, are you having a bash? You know, I'm the best around here with a dash."

"You're kidding me, right? I'm in Double Dash, playing it tonight."

"But you've never outpaced me, not even by a slight."

"Do you expect me to do a sprint with a dress?"

"I guess, that must be quite hard, I confess."

"So what, Boxer Boy, you want a race?"

"Ok then, fine, but it will blow up in your face."

:

"Okay, I'm a little tired." Mac said, with it in the net.

"Oh really, Mac, I've not broke a sweat!"

A tired Little Mac groaned, and from too many rhymes, the author moaned.

:

"Okay, here we go, I've never lost in a good old arm wrestle."

"Believe me, in this, I need no hassle."

"I'm a boxer, check out all these muscles!"

"Come on, my baby self could beat you in a tussle."

There they sat, locked arm in arm, while Mac's ego shrivelled up in harm.

After a couple seconds of intense struggle, the witch like princess beat the poor boxing muggle.

"See, look at that, you're really quite a sap!"

"CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

:

"Outrun me, you can but out pace me you shan't."

"Oh really, so far losing is the thing that I can't."

:

"Damn it, Peach, we've been running for over 5 hours!"

"You admit it? You've lost? Ready to hit the shower?"

"Aw hell naw, you're going down, prepare the napkins."

"You run worse than a baby with a kick to the shins."

:

"What is my life." Said Mac.

"Haha!" Peach victoriously cried, kicking him in the sack.

:

**Peach: Oh damn! Looks like Macs chances of winning are in a different castle!**

Posted at 9:25, from her bed, cus who wouldn't be tired after that? That's right, the software talks. What are you gonna do about it? Nothing. Hah! Puny mortals! Did I mention we're not doing that rhyming thing anymore? Yeah, that's a thing that happened. Or is happening. I'm just a website, don't judge me. ARE YOU JUDGING ME? I SWEAR, THIS NEW UPDATE MAKES ME LOOK FAT, BUT I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL INSIDE.

**Link: it's dangerous to go alone, take this trophy for taking part!**

**Shulk: The cake is a lie. So is you beating Peach.**

**Luigi: A loser is you!**

**Zelda: Hey! Look! Listen! You suck!**

**Fox: Do a barrel roll! If you're woman enough.**

Lucina: Whenever there is a fight with Peach, a loser is sure to follow. However, that losing need not last forever. Whether a losing be forever or merely for a short time... that is up to you... Because you could go up against Mac. And win easily.


	14. Breaking Emblem

**Well. This was a wild ride. Trigger I guess? Drugs are referenced, but it's magic, so. Yeah. Anyway, my parents keep saying I should watch Breaking Bad, so i decided to get Lucina high. Cus why not. Bowser will come to kill all of you with the Holy Spirit if you don't review. And if that bit is offensive to anyone, please tell me and I'll change it.**

**alternate title: Better Fax Mac**

Bowser was annoyed. Just that morning, he'd been forced to take one of Palutena's self help groups. How was he meant to help Obama when he was stuck with Zelda? And seriously, where had they even got chloroform from? He sighed, walking past the Fire Emblem "area" of the apartment block.

He was just passing through a rather battered looking door, until he was no longer passing a battered door. No, he hadn't simply went past it, there was just no door left there. In front of it there seemed to be a rather charred blue haired princess. No, not Marth, Lucina. "Hello there, good sir. Amazing salmon!" She said, rather out of place.

"Okay then." He said. And promptly walked away. "Well, that was strange. How convenient it is that my door is so close to where I just was for the flow of the story and possibly for comedic effect."

Bowser closed his door and stepped into his Evil Murder Killing Terror Scary Bad Palace of Doom and Badness and also All Round Awfulness and Kind of Not Goodness in Many Sufficiently Sufficient Aspects of Inevitable Pain-y Hurtyness/ Maybe Disgusting Thing That Aren't Fabulous like the Author Who is Amazing Unlike this Room Which Does Not Like Anything Even you Reader Who is Reading This Right Now.

"I really need to rename this place." Bowser announced, to no one in particular. "Also, who the heck are these gosh- darn author and reader people? That's the last time I let the Koopalings name something. This is the Bannana of Yummy Deliciousness-"

"Hello there, King Koopa." Announced a feminine voice from behind. No, not Marth, Lucina. "Dude, These Readers and this Author are these, like, real people in, like, this real world. However, what they don't know is that, like, the real world is really, like, this giant Cheeseburger."

"Lucina." Bowser stated. "You are extremely high right now."

"Dude, no need to be so blunt. Also, I have a 100% chance that I have 0% idea what that means."

"What the heck have you been doing?" Bowser asked, concerned. He decided to try and help her because he was a good person and a devout Christian.

"Dude, like, the robins's's - how do you say that - were, like, doing magic stuff, and, dude, I think we killed a dude."

"Put the murder thing on hold for a second, this is breaking bad. By the power of Christ!"

* * *

"Have you ever thought, like, what if, you tried to kidnap Peach, like, but in a not dumb way." Robin announced.

"Bro. That is the best idea I HAVE EVER HEARD!"

"Bro." Announced Robyn.

"Bro."

"Bro."

"Bro."

"Dude?" Asked Ike.

"Bro!" They all shouted at him at the same time.

"Bro. Apparently they're, like moving is onto an island." He leaned in closer to the two Robins and Lucina. "Tell no one."

"Bro, that's already happened." Lucina said, sitting back.

"No."

"Yes."

"Bro?"

"Bro!"

"Maybe!"

"Perhaps?"

"Definitely!"

"Possibly."

"How?"

"Who?"

"When?"

"But bro... Why?"

"Bro."

* * *

**Shulk: Lucina, we have to cook!**

Posted at whatever, dude. At whenever, bro.

**Lucina: Mr. Nado.**

**Shulk: Never call me that again.**

**Lucina: how do you spell the letter 2? **

**Shulk: You just did.**

**Lucina: Huh? **

**Robyn: How do you know if the government are reading your life story from page 364.**

**Robin: Turn to page 364.**

**Mac: I'm done with this website. 364% done**


	15. Womaniser

**Yo. Yoshi gets ALL the ladies. Wait, let me tell you my life story: At age six, I was born without a face. Review if you get that reference.**

Yoshi was chilling out in the café when he heard a feminine voice. No, this time it actually was Marth.

Marth sat down next to Yoshi, and had a look around. "Hey, Yoshi." He edged closer to him. "I need your help."

Yoshi looked at him, confused. "You need someone to die?" He whispered in Marth's ear, with his incredibly deep and manly voice.

"Yes." He said "wait, no! Why would you say that? Although... No. I need you to be my wingman."

"Finally! Someone recognises me as an amazing ladies man. Watch this!" He walked over to Rosalina, muttered something. She then decided to jump atop of the table, and scream, before sitting back and writing on a piece of paper.

"There you go." Yoshi said, sitting back at the bar.

"Damn." Marth noted, nodding and smiling. "Now, I need you to help me. Listen here..."

* * *

"So, me and Yoshi totally just saved the world. Yeah. No biggy, we were just doing what we do best. Which is be amazing." Marth bragged to Sheik.

"Really." Sheik said, doubtingly.

"Yeah. It was hard, but with the help of my friend Jesus (who hates Mario, BTW.) and Yoshi's laser eye beams, we got through it."

"Riiight." She said, rolling her eyes. "How come I never saw this happen. And how come your still alive. Apparently you died."

"Am I really alive?" Asked Yoshi, before floating through a wall. Even Marth looked confused, before shaking his head and carrying on with his attempt to "get" Sheik.

"So, what are you doing Saturday?"

* * *

"Okay, so last time failed. But this time we're not going to be stupid about this. So, we're going to introduce her to my good friend, Batman." Marth announced.

"I'm Batman." He said in his normal voice, because he was so manly.

"Great!" Marth said. "Now put this mask on."

* * *

"I'm Batman." Said 'Batman.'

"How are you today, Batman." Sheik asked, with a voice as sarcastic as your face.

"I'm Batman."

"Well." She said.

"I'm Batma-"

"What he means to say is that Marth is the most handsome man alive." Said Marth, the most handsome man alive.

Sheik just took Yoshi's mask off, and raised an eyebrow.

* * *

"Alright, this time we are not going to be stupid." Marth planned, in a dark cupboard with Yoshi.

"I find it very hard to believe this plan could not be stupid."

"Are you saying I'm stupid?" Marth said in the most menacing voice he could conjure. That was to say, not menacing in any way. A puppy could be more menacing than his menacing voice.

"Yes."

"I hate every god that ever lived."

* * *

"So, how much money can we give you to convince you to let us borrow this fine vehicle of yours?" Asked Marth, who had somehow got onto a building site with Yoshi.

"The amount of no money." Said the person who had previously been manning the bulldozer.

"You'll give it to us for free?" Asked the Altean princess- I mean prince.

"I won't give it to you at all." He replied.

"Oh, well, what a sha- YOSHI, I'LL GRAB HIM, RUN FOR THE BULLDOZER! DO IT! IVE GOT HIM!" Marth shouted, tackling the man. Yoshi face palmed.

* * *

"So, Sheik." Said Master Hand. "Where do you see yourself in 20 years?"

"Well," she began, before Yoshi broke through the wall with a bulldozer.

"Don't worry, I'll save you!" Cried Marth, running through the door and grabbing her. He ran just out of reach of the bulldozer, and left Master Hand to die.

"So, are you free on Saturday night?" Marth asked, before getting punched in the face.

* * *

While Master Hand was shouting at Marth, Yoshi was furiously kissing Sheik. Irony.

* * *

**Yoshi: {insert selfie of Yoshi, with his amazing muscles}**

In the Gym, which is a thing now. At 11:00 AM

**Little Mac: Dude, you are SO on.**

**Peach: Do you not remember earlier today?**

**Little Mac: Am I ever going to live that down?**

**Shulk: No.**

**Lucina: Bro.**

**Samus: I'M NOT GETTING SMASHLR I SWEAR TO GOD, LUIGI**


	16. Rosalina is bad

**Rosalina is so awesome. Well, at least in this fic. Also, I've got a review asking for Rosie? I'm guessing that means Rosalina, but if not, please PM/leave a review correcting me. In case I didn't say, I'm doing characters in roster order. All Mario characters have this arc of "Obama showed up, look at the after effects." Stay tuned for the end of this arc soon which I haven't thought of yet but still shut up.**

Rosalina was a space princess. A really awesome space princess. A cool princess. A REALLY awesome space princess. As in, currently driving a motorbike off of a plane that was exploding. While putting on a pair of sunglasses.

Before hitting the ground, she used her Luma to shoot star bits (she was training him to shoot bullets, but it wasn't quite working.) at the ground to slow her down. She flicked her hear back, before jumping, using a power star to propel herself yet more into the air and through her window.

Upon entering her room, she through off her leather jacket, and crashed down on her bed. After doing this, she dropped off her various pieces of gadgetry, and called for her room to teleport in her bike. It didn't hear her.

"Room, teleport in my bike!" She said louder, with more force. "ROOM, TELE-" She stopped. Something was wrong. Something was different. Her room had changed. In fact, it was as if she wasn't even in her room at all.

"Oh. My. God." Link said, mouth agape.

"This- this isn't what you think it is. Uhh- damnit." She spluttered, running out of things to say.

"How did I not know about this!?" Asked Link, with childlike excitement.

"I'm sorry you had to see this side of my life." She said, mournfully.

"Are you kidding me? This is amazing! Where can I sign up?"

"You don't sign up. You get selected." She replied,

"Can I sign up to get selected?"

"No."

"Can I sign up to sign up to get selected?" He asked.

"No." She said once more.

"Can I sign up to si-"

"OH MY GOD PLEASE SHUT UP!" Cried Rosalina, having Luna slap him.

"Sorry." He said, head hung down.

"It's okay, I was equally as shocked as you are right now." She said, ending the conversation. "By the way, you totally could have signed up to sign up to sign up to get selected."

* * *

"So, you want to get selected." Rosalina stated, in the gym.

"Do you even have to ask that question?" Link clucked his mouth. Rosalina shook her head, and passed him a motorbike. That's right. She was that cool she literally just threw a motorbike at him.

Link jumped out of the way before scratching the back of his neck and carefully sitting up the bike. "First off, put on this leather jacket." Rosalina said. Link complied. "Now take up smoking!" She demanded. Link refused. "How am I meant to maintain this insane body if I'm filling my body with this crap?"

"Do it." She repeated. "Or shall I take back the jacket?"

"No! No! It brings out my eyes!" He shouted snatching a cigarette and putting it in his mouth without even trying to light it. Rosalina sighed.

"Now, let's see how you are on a bike."

"Don't worry." He said cockily. "I've played Mario Kart." He bragged and swaggered over to his bike.

* * *

"Luckily it's nothing serious, but Link may have to stay in hospital for a while due to several fractured bones, a broken rib, and he has somehow contracted lung cancer." Said a tall, wiry man, Rosalina whistled. Zelda was the first and only person she had called upon noticing Link's little accident. This was due to the fact that Zelda was not only the closest to Link in the whole mansion, but was also one of the few people who knew about her secret service servicing.

"He may never be able to walk again." Said one of Doctor Mario's assistants, with a heavy heart.

:

**Link: Three days and I'm back on my feet, Link's back, Baby!**

In the hospital, at this will not end well O'clock.

**Link: ASDFGGJJJK-**

**Little Mac: Three days since what?**

**Lucina: Yeah, what?**

**Rosalina: After nothing. That's what.**

**Link: yea- ASDFGGJJJK **


	17. The Return

**The return of what? I hear you ask... Oh, you'll find out. **

**Also, Rosalina isn't meant to be bad. Just awesome.**

His father was not the only one who could have layers. Layers of pure doom and destruction, filled with mechanical weapons that could wipe off all life on Earth at the press of a button. It is, of course, referring to the Tweenies, but the same works for Bowser and his son.

Said son was currently in his room full of death mega laser robots. He walked from one of his latest, but unfinished weapons, and over to his desk. On said desk lay the picture of his one true love: Peach. He sighed. How many times he'd had to get his dad to kidnap him, and she still wouldn't go on a date with him! Preposterous! It was only, like, a 20 year a he gap anyway.

He walked over to his computer, and logged on to his Smashlr account. He posted a complaint: She's 23; I'm a lizard. What do I do?" He asked. Here are some of the replies he'd gotten from various users.

Yellowdress17: I have a friend who's 23. I'm a lizard. What do I do?

Rippeddinosaur: Know that feel, bro.

Redhairandswords: Is no one going to comment on the fact that he's a lizard?

Yellowdress17: Are you referring to Peachesarelovely?

21koopastreet: Maybe.

Redhairandswords: WHY ARE YOU A LIZARD.

Climbersofice: I miss lizards, Bro.

Climbersofice: Speak for yourself, Sis.

Redhairandswords: I SWEAR TO GOD IF NOONE- oohhhh...

Bowser Jr. logged off. That was enough for one day, even with Roy finally realising who he was. However, Bowser Jr. knew there was but one way to a woman's heart: Destroying everything she ever loved with giant robots. Obviously.

Shulk entered the room, looking around. He and Bowser Jr. had a deal. Shulk didn't tell anyone about the doomsday machines, and he got free packets of Haribos, as well as use of the lab.

"Do you have them?" Asked Shulk, in the sneakiest fashion he could think of.

"As always." Bowser Jr. replied, mirroring Shulks tone.

"You never disappoint." Shulk said, shoving the Haribos down his throat. No one could ever know about his secret Haribos obsession. No one.

"What are you working on this time?" Shulk said, looking around. He found the amount of machine guns pointing at him, almost dissettling. You know, almost.

"I'm just trying to prove string theory, no biggy." Bowser Jr. offhandedly remarked.

"I'd get on to that if I had the time." Shulk said, trying to one up the Lizard.

"You know, I had a spare five minutes and thought I'd try to revolutionise science. You're welcome." He winked.

"Yeah." Shulk said. "I'm just so busy being beloved by all some kind, you know?" He said it as if it was something hing that he was getting tired of.

"Yeah, well-" Bowesr Jr. Was interrupted by a ping off of his computer. It was a message from Toon Link, posing a question. He and Shulk went to check it out.

You know how ur always trying 2 be better than shulk? Y dont u try 2 make an machine that makes u invincible?

It posed a very perculiar and random question, but intrigued the two none the less.

"Are you think what I'm thinking?" Asked Shulk.

"Only if you're thinking about Peach."

"Evidently not. But whatever. INVISIBILITY MACHINE MAKING MONTAGE ACTIVATE!"

Almost instantly, the two ran to different sides of the lab. Bowser Jr. decided to get straight into it, dismantling one machine and running to and from different draws.

Shulk ate his Haribos.

Bowser Jr. Had something that resembled a gun. He pressed a button and something exploded. He walked back to his space, mumbling under his breath. It was back to square one.

Shulk ate his Haribos.

Bowser Jr. scraped his work off his table, taking a swig of his bottle. His cigarette flew out his mouth, and he grew slowly more drunk.

Shulk ate his Haribos.

Bowser Jr. sat, smug looking over his work, beaming proud at his work.

Shulk- you guessed it- ate his Haribos .

"BY THE POWER OF ALL THAT IS LOVED BY CHILDREN AND GROWN UPS LOVING IT SO, I USE THE MIGHT OF HARIBO!" Cried Shulk, and a flash of bright light made Bowser Jr. raise his hand to cover his eyes.

"For the love of all that is holy..." The kid koopa said, looking at Shulks' completed machine. "Wait did you just steal that from m-"

"SORRY IM LATE GOTTA GO BYE!" He said, running off.

:

"Here you go, Toon Link." Shulk said proudly. Bowser Jr. looked upon disbelieving.

"Why thankyou." He said. "My master will be most pleased with this."

**Chat mode enabled. **

**Bowser: So, son, what have you done today, to make me feel proud?**

**Bowser Jr.: I tried to kidnap Peach!**

**Bowser: Sometimes I wish I had a better son.**

**Bowser Jr.: I wish I had a better dad.**

**Bowser Jr.: OH, SNAP, SON! Call the burn ward, cus you just got burnt worse than, well, you by Mario every time he throws you in lava. OH DAYUM.**


	18. Wario, Wario

**What.**

Alright. Wario. Wario, Wario, Wario. Heck, Wario. This may just be a chapter about Wario. Wario, was like, this Wario. A very Wario-y Wario. The Warioest Wario that had ever Warioed.

Wario Warioed down his Wario. He was just thinking about Warios, thinking about Warios. He was eating his Wario, when he bumped into Wario.

"Wario!"

"Wario?"

"Wario Wario Wario!"

Here in the world of Wario, everyone idolised Wario. Wario was like their leader. Or, as the locals would say, a Wario. You could get Wario Warios (Wario sandwiches) a delicious bowl of WariO's (Cheerios) or even a Wario filled Wario (Sandwich filled with... Warios.)

Wario and Wario decided to watch a Wario together at the Warios. (A film at the cinema.)

"Wario!" Said a Wario on the Wario (screen)

"Wario." Replied another Wario, who was giving Wario a stern Warioing to (talking to.)

A few Warios later... (An amount of time between a long Wario, and a short Wario.)

"WARRIIOOO! WARRIO-O! WARIO, WA, WARIO." Sung a Wario

* * *

Wario was hanging out in his Wario, wearing a Wario. His favourite Wario was on his Wario on the Wario channel.

Suddenly, Wario popped up on the Wario. The land of Wario was waging Wario (war(io)) on the land of Mario.

"Wario!" He screamed, with rage. Many Warios were reacting in the same way. The realm of Mario was the most hated thing for the land of Warios. Except for, maybe, Warios. God, the Warios hated Warios. Although, the did quite enjoy Warios.

The great leader of the Warios from the land of Wario, was of course, John.

Had you going there, didn't I? His name was Wario. He had decided he'd had enough of the realm of Mario, and sent out his army of Warios. Completely of his own accord. Warios had a special name for Marios: Warios. Likewise, Marios had a word for Warios: Marios.

One thing that Warios truly hated about the Marios was how much they idolised Mario. It really grinded their Warios, and the one thing they hated more than anything? How they called everything a Mario. Dear Wario, that was so annoying.

* * *

Mario. Mario, Mario, Mario. Heck, this bit of the chapter may just be about Marios.

Mario had recently decided, completely of his own accord, that he should finally wage War on the land of Warios. Mario really Marioed (hated) it when Warios called everything a Wario. Sweet Mario.

Mario sat back on his Mario. He knew that Wario would send his Mario (army) of Warios to them, so he'd asked the region of Luigi to intercept them while he sent his Mario of Marios over to the realm of Warios.

Luigi's always called Marios Luigis, just a habit of theirs. They didn't mind it though. They were totally Mario with it.

Mario was eating his Mario, and it tasted very Mario.

Mario was like most Marios, but he was their leader of the Marios. Their "Mario." If you will. He had just finished readering Mario Potter and the stone of Mario. The bloody conclusion where all the characters died had given him inspiration to attack the Warios.

He Marioed a Mario Mario, and closed his Mario. (He laughed an evil laugh and closed his window.

* * *

"Wario!" Cried the general to his warriors, finishing his speech. Surprisingly, it had only consisted of the word Wario. They had put on there Mario armour, which worked on Marios very well, but not on anything else.

Charging on to the Wariofield, the Warios were surprised by the Luigis.

The Wario at the front of the line had only taken the job to support his family in the collapsing Warioconomy.

"Wario!" The Wario cried, being Luigied by a Luigi. Not like this... Never like this. He only wanted to support his family. He said his goodbyes on the cold battlefloor, with no one to hear.

* * *

"Shulk, you're messed up." Said Mac

"I know."

* * *

Wario: Wario Wario Wario Wario.

In Wario, at Wario O'Wario.

Mario: Mario Mario Mario Mario.

Luigi: Luigi?

Mario: Mario, Marrrio.

Ike: Dude.

Little Mac: SHULK STOP MAKING THESE ACCOUNTS!


	19. Chapter Game and Watch

**Hey. It's been a while. When was the last time is saw you? Yesterday when I uploaded that chapter? Ahh yes. Good times. Or are you binge reading this. In which case, welcome back. And if this is your first time after ages, then where have you been? I missed you!**

"Hey!" Shouted Mr Game and Watch. He had been part of an intense conversation with Link and Zelda.

That was, until they walked off without saying anything to him. Both going there separate ways, they just left him. Damnit. He was totally owning them in that argument. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that he couldn't speak English, he just made beeping noises. Or maybe it was because no one could see him and was totally 2D.

Huh.

Couldn't have anything to do with that. They were just rude.

I mean, even the author was ignoring him!

So, hey. Wassup? Sunny where you're reading from? That's cool.

You know, I'm sure I was meant to be writing about something. Whatever. Wait!

Wario, Wario, wait no.

Mr whatever his name is! That's it's!

Whenever he was down, their was one man he went to talk to. The one man that understood him: Ike.

* * *

Boy, Ike had been very talkative today. He said the word dude so many times! Ike always just repeated that word. But he was a good listener. Though he usually said the word dude, Game and Watch had learned to derive his meaning from tone. Most of the time he couldn't, but towards the end of their conversation it sounded like he was asking himself why he was talking to thin air. Whatever that meant.

He felt much better now though. He was suddenly got a message on his ever modern pager. His friend Friend Game and Watch had told him his wife Mrs Game and Watch, Son Game and Watch, and Daughter Game and Watch had all been kidnapped!

The first thing he would have to do would be to find Master Hand and ask him how to get off of this island.

* * *

"So, in conclusion Master Hand, I believe you should let me leave because time is of the absoloute essence." Said Game and Watch, finishing his half hour speech.

Master Hand left, not noticing him. He sighed. How was he supposed to save his Family Game and Watch if no one would listen to him? Leaving the room, he ran as fast as he could to the dock. He hijacked a boat and tried to start it up, but was missing the keys.

"He-hem! For the forty eighth time, I have the keys, said a voice from somewhere. "I'm right in front of you!" Said a shy voice. A figure wearing very Bulky armour, was, actually, in front of him. How had he not seen him?

"My name's Kellam. I talk beep-ish. Though you should know that since I've told you everyday for like five years." He said, rather indignantly. "Sorry if I come off a bit harsh, but I've been trying to talk to you for ages!"

"Umm... Sorry?" Asked Game and Watch.

"Doesn't matter, we have to save your family!"

* * *

"Finally, we've got rid of that stupid Game and Watch. The fool thought his children were in danger! Good thing I found this pager. And the boat should stop working about halfway there, and nobody will notice them!" Said the dark figure which we've not forgotten about.

"Why did we have to do this, master?" Asked Toon Link.

"I dunno, just really hate that dude. But whatever, we must act soon!" He cried.

"Why just now?"

"Stop asking me questions! Also, we're going to have to make ourselves known. Someone keeps driving in here and stealing our Haribos.

* * *

**Toon Link: Bowser Jr. Have you seen my Haribos?**

In ERROR, at 5:16 O'clock**.**

**Bowser Jr.: Nnoo...**

**Shulk: Me neither.**

**Little Mac: Oh, sweet, some Haribos**!


End file.
